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tweet. [Friday
July 25th, 2008]

perksof
  • 11:03 Just gave Jax her birthday balloons. Back at my desk, staring at 3 flatscreens, trying to stay awake. Listening to Get Up Kids. #
  • 22:38 Avoided traffic on 76 by taking Rt 23 to City Line Ave. I avoided traffic near the zoo by taking Girard to Frankford. My Mom was impressed. #
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[Thursday
July 24th, 2008]

acertaintragedy
i had to spam it!




The Road To (Baby Food) Glory from Thomas Kaltz on Vimeo.



and as an added bonus... )
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[Thursday
July 24th, 2008]

blisterblue_
[ mood | mellow ]

So i failed to write yesterday but i will today.

So negatives of the past two days
-leaving work
-nausea
-this stupid virus i will now have forever that i want to end

positives
-Finding out that Romeo and Juliet was heavily borrowed from Pyramus and Thisbe
-Greek
-seclusion

so that is all aside from adding ovid's poetry and chaucer's the canterbury tales to the list of books i must read

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tweet. [Thursday
July 24th, 2008]

perksof
  • 12:06 Girl behind the deli counter at Wawa tried to be sneaky and take a picture of me with her phone. Guess she liked my tattoos. #
  • 16:45 Just e-mailed a hospice regarding a patient who turned 108 yrs old on June 18th. #
  • 16:47 If this patient brushed her teeth twice a day, everyday that she was alive... she brushed them 78,840 times. #
  • 16:48 If she used the bathroom 3 times a day, she went 118, 260 times. #
  • 18:40 On the 5 bus, going home. iPod on shuffle, listening to Taken By Trees - Hours Pass Like Centuries. #
  • 18:42 Old City Cheese at 3rd & Race has an All You Can Eat Pasta night tonight. BYOB. I love pasta. #
  • 18:43 3rd Street bumps hurt my bum. #
  • 23:10 Helping Steff make buttons. Watching Shear Genius at Niamh's apartment. #
  • 00:07 Soaked from "swimming" through Northern Liberties with Steff. #
  • 00:31 Because of an outage, tinyurl.com/5vkoag, I lost everyone I was Following. Also, my LJ hasn't been updating. #
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Mid Year Music Post [Wednesday
July 23rd, 2008]

ob_gyn_kenobi
It's about halfway through 2008 and I've listened to about 294 albums so far this year. Of those about 200 of them aren't very good. Here is a list of my 30 favorite so far and some other random categories.

1. Stephen Malkmus – Real Emotional Trash
2. Grails – Take Refuge in Clean Living
3. Frightened Rabbit – The Midnight Organ Fight
4. Sam Amidon – All is Well
5. Aborea – Aborea
6. Sun Kil Moon – April
7. Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend
8. Okkervil River – The Stand Ins’
9. Opeth – Watershed
10. Russian Circles – Station
11. The Tallest Man on Earth – Shallow Grave
12. Why? – Alopecia
13. British Sea Power – Do You like Rock Music?
14. Decrepit Birth – Diminishing Between Worlds
15. Balmorhea – Rivers Arms
16. Elbow – The Seldom Seen Kid
17. Headlights – Some Racing, Some Stopping
18. Plants and Animals – Parc Avenue
19. Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes
20. The Felice Brothers – The Felice Brothers
21. Ida – Lovers Prayers
22. Wolf Parade – At Mount Zoomer
23. Jason Anderson – On The Street
24. This Will Destroy You – This Will Destroy You
25. The Mae Shi – HLLYH
26. Colour Revolt – Plunder, Beg, and Curse
27. Jamie Lidell – Jim
28. The Eye, The Ear, and the Arm – Paths
29. Adrian Crowley – Long Distance Swimmer
30. Tall Firs – Too Old to Die Young


Best Album Cover so far:

Photobucket


Worst album cover so far:

Photobucket

Biggest Dissapointments:

She and Him - Volume One. Dear god, please dont let there be a volume two. I'm not the biggest M. Ward or Zooey Deschanel fan, but this vanity project was a mess, and a boring mess at that.

Beck - Modern Guilt. Beck hasn't made a good album in 9 years and has scarcely made good songs in the period.

Black Mountain - In the Future. Whats the point in being in an ass-rock band if you are just going to turn down your amps and do a 12 minute song where you just keep repeating the same phrase 35 times. I want the giant crunchy guitar riffs you had on your previous album. Pussies.

Portishead - Third. Why wait 11 to make an album when it sounds exactly like all your other stuff. You couldn't learn a new chord or two in 11 years?


Biggest Surprises (in a good way):

Frightened Rabbit - The Midnight Organ Fight. I'd never heard this little Scottish band before and really didn't like it much on first listen, but they chipped away at me with their catchy rhythms and swoon worthy accents.

Sam Amidon- All is Well. His previous album was alright, but nothing new or interesting. This is one of the most beautiful and captivating folk albums ive heard in a while. I was captivated by it. It held me captive. It captured me and refused to let me go.

Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend. I know I know, usually I hate all the "buzz" bands on principle alone, but these guys are actually pretty good and damn catchy. Throw in their ivy league good looks and 401k plans and i'm a fan!

Why? - Alopecia. Sometimes their lyrics are tooo clever for their own good, but mostly this album is pretty swell. They seem super boring live though.


Best albums to listen to while going to sleep.

Sam Amidon - All is Well
Headlights - Some Racing, Some Stopping
Ida - Lovers Prayers
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Balmorhea - Rivers Arms


Best Music to fuck to (keeping in mind I ONLY fuck to metal!)

Opeth - Watershed (there are some slow pretty parts in there for the ladies who need them, probably the same girls that like plots in their pornos.)

Decrepit Birth - Diminishing Between Worlds (it might be kind of hard to get yo' lady to hump to a band called Decrepit Birth, but once she gets past the awesomeness of the name, you'll be banging her brains out at 200 beats per minute)

Alestorm - Captain Morgans Revenge (pirate themed metal for those nights when you role play)

Lair of the Minotaur - War Metal Battle Master (I think the name says it all, this is going to be one rough fuck.)
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[Wednesday
July 23rd, 2008]

cash_butterflyy
[ mood | hungry ]

Could you feel my heavy heart that morning we first kissed? A good number of your best friends have done their best to captivate and keep it, but I'm not counting on you, you can bet on me to leave. That love we shared early morning, at this point doesn't exist. And I don't want to talk about it, because I know you do. Because talking about it will only lead me to feel like shit. Besides, I don't know why it happened in the first place, I guess it's just one of those things that just happens without a fate. I don't encourage it, but it's how we chose to live. There's somewhere someone's lover sharing a bed with your best friend.

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[Tuesday
July 22nd, 2008]

xlamentx
 Portraits on the sides of trains
faces and personality confined to only names.
Squeaking, pushing, stopping, going
The sights and scenes barely showing. 
Talking, laughing, flash flash blind
Observations, judgements, but for some reason I don't mind.
litter litter nature is mad
it rains on and on because it is sad.
Newspaper umbrellas, polka dot boots
rejecting the water the replenishes our roots.
Painted man sits next to my chair
painted pants, painted fingers, colourful shoes, rainbow hair.
Running shoes walk and then wait for the run
underground people travelling with no sun.
She wears her heart on her sleeve but it has wings
it can fly away if it chooses and it can choose whoever it brings.
Street meat, dead meat, bed meat, dead beat.
Eye contact, no contact
you have to have a contract.
Backpackers still in school, still living off the land
street smarts, book smarts don't go hand in hand.
The weather portrays society's pain
let's abandon our ways and go dance in the rain.
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[Monday
July 21st, 2008]

blisterblue_
Some positives:
-My attempt to pig myself with comfort food failed due to being full half way through my first meal
-stas
-having people at work rally to my side against the evil of chauvinistic pigs

Some negatives:
-Chauvinistic pigs
-unreasonable people
-having to be nice

[Sunday
July 20th, 2008]

cash_butterflyy
[ mood | hopeful ]

While I have the time, I might as well catch up and finish that last entry. I went and saw the new Batman movie the night it came out (Midnight, the 17th), with John, Lauren, Eric C., Jeremy K., some new people, Marco, and Will (which no one told me was going to be there, until after the fact). He was friendly, so I was just as friendly back. That's all. I'm thinking I was late to be picked up, because being impulsive again, was getting my septum pierced. I've wanted it ever since two Octobers ago, when it was last done. Everyone was dressed up, as I almost figured they would be, but me. You won't understand just how much that alone bummed me out. I would have made a fabulous Poison Ivy. (If you don't know her villian in Batman, shame on you)! After the movie, which was great by the way, we ate at Ram's Horn and then lied around at John's after Lauren went home. In the restuarant, me and Marco sat alone at our own booth in the smoker's section. I hadn't ever had a decent conversation with the boy until then, and as I maybe might have guessed, he's a real sweet heart. At 6 in the morning, John drove me home, and without an ounce of sleep, I was ready for Warped Tour in about 4 hours.

Alyssa's mom, herself, and Jessie, came and picked up me and Adam around 9. It had been awhile for me and Alyssa. It always seems that way. I've been to only two Warped Tours, including this year's, but last year's was so much more enjoyable. For starters, I wasn't too into the bands, other than Forever the Sickest Kids (whom I didn't even get to see), and Adam had his friends to 'attend' to for the day, and after Mayday Parade played (about an hour in), I didn't meet up with Alyssa and her sister until the end of the day. I spent the entire day looking for them, sweating to death, and resembling a zombie. Tony, Chad, Ted, Chad's dad, and now, Mark (a member of SHOTGUN) were there and kept me company periodically. Tony was different without Shelby around and I felt that she should've been around. When I first met the group, Shelby said Chad would intimidate me, but after Warped, I've found that he's truly the sweetest of them all. (His dad's another story as you know). 

About an hour before I finally found Alyssa and Jess, I ran into Will and Dom. They were sitting on the grass and Will was waving. All I did was ask if they'd seen Alyssa, and walked away to join Jud and Dean from Ann Arbor (who were now my company). About fifteen or twenty minutes after that, I felt something cold on my arm and Dom was standing in front of me, offering me his ICEE. "Drink it! Not all of it." "Thankyou..." "I never hated you." "I know." "Hate's nowhere near the word. I hate a lot of the things you do, and I'm sure I always will." And then me and Dom just started hugging and I was a little weirded out, but I'm glad. I guess I don't really know what that meant, but I'll just go with it. The next morning, he invited me to John's cottage to ski and such, but I had to turn it down for SHOTGUN's show.

I spent all of yesterday at Tony's with Rob, Bobby, Tony, Shelb, Mark, and now a new John. It was a nice time, we didn't do much before the show in Romeo. While me, Bob, and Shelb sat on Tony's couch, watching 'Who wants to be a Millionaire?', Mark came in and made a fuss about how big his dick is, and then he whipped it out and my jaw dropped, because it was about 8 inches soft. He's Porta Rican. Rob drove me home that night again. I can tell when someone's interested (in most cases), but I consider Shelby trusting me around everyone a priveledge in itself, and to be honest, with what I've learned about these people, I'm strongly considering staying in the friend's zone. Relationships fuck shit up, and although I know I'm ready for a new one, I just doubt I've met anyone meeting my continuosly rising standards. I think I'm going to end up with a depressed John Riggs tonight. It's one of those nights.

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[Sunday
July 20th, 2008]

cash_butterflyy
[ mood | energetic ]

My adventures have been endless. Last Monday, I woke Shelby up early and made the decision for the both of us, that we were going to Royal Oak for the day. She had girl friends over, still in their underwear; Jennifer and Roxy. They had to be home earlier so after having breakfast at Leo's Coney Island, they left. After shopping around, Shelby and I spent a majority of the day in the 'Cafe'. People we recognized were in and out, nonstop. "You've seen the bathroom here, right?" She asked me. I hadn't, but now that I have, I can see why it's such a 'big deal'. Almost everything covering the walls was rude and making fun of somebody, but I still signed my name as high as I could reach, by standing on the toilet. (Yes, I've just made it that much easier to find, so please, feel free to write the cruelest shit you can manage)! I won't call myself a smoker again (all of last summer), but since Patrick's fourth of July, I haven't had much of a break from it.

 


Now, excuse me if any of the names from here on forward are misspelled, but with Shelby, it started with me re-meeting Brandon; second-best at Guitar Hero in the world. Apparently just under someone from Brazil. Then there were David Antier's (via Mott) friends; Mike Smith, Coulton, and little Ivan, who turns out, knows DJ V. And I guess by chance accident, have all (including David who wasn't in the Cafe) seen Shelby naked through her bedroom window. And then there was Anna, she sat behind us and she 'wants to beat Shelby's ass'. And lastly at the Cafe, but not least, I finally got to meet James Harken; Shelby's ex-boyfriend before Tony, Amy's ex-friend, a one-time customer of Will's (who must be big into selling weed these days), and retired murderer, after giving up on assassinating Nabil. Don't worry it's not you, unless you were around, you shouldn't understand any of that partially-sarcastic description. The truth is, I was impressed, especially with everything I've heard. James didn't say much and didn't stay long either. Shebly and I were then picked up by her very recent ex-boyfriend, Tony, with Chad and Bobby in the car. Because I failed to call 'Rosa Parks' at any of the stops we made throughout the day, I was forced to climb through the passenger side window, because the door handle's broken. Shelby kept apologizing before we stopped and got out at Chad's dad's apartment. To make a short story shorter; Shelby and I spent the whole time trying to retrieve her sidekick cellphone from Bobby, and at the same time, read the texts being sent between the three (Bobby, Chad, Chad's dad). It wasn't hard to figure out that they weren't about Shelby, and through some maneuvering, we were finally able to read received texts like, 'her body is rockin', 'she's got an amazing butt', and my personal favorite, 'tight like a tiger'. Then it was time for us to continue on this adventure, because now Chad's dad was apologizing too. Next stop: Ted's house, where we'd watch Ted and Rob play about not even two games of Halo, then leave again. Because Tony's Ford Focus holds five people, including him driving, me and Shelby ducked in the trunk.


While we were still in Ted's basement, Shelby got a text from Coulton and Mike Smith, asking for me and her to meet them up at the skate park on 13 and John R. Tony agreed to drive us there, but only until we actually arrived there. Then it was the whole car of boys getting out like there was a set street fight about to take place. I think Shelby was a lot more embarrassed than I was, but bringing around all these larger guys to spend time with a group of smaller guys, maybe wasn't the best idea. Both groups though the whole situation was hilarious in the end, and me and Shelby returned to Tony's trunk. By this point in time, I felt more comfortable leaving with them anyways. It was now around 9:20 PM and I had a curfew that night of 10 (which I won't ever live down), so Rob took me home in his pickup truck. To me, Rob's smart, and he tried aiding me with my case of being 'geographically-disabled' (thank you again, Dad), by teaching me what he said 'would be all I really need to know when driving'. Then he asked me to come with Shelby to their band's show, SHOTGUN, Saturday night. That was last night, and the Static Age was a shitty venue, but they played well. It was also Warped Tour with these and more boy friends of Shelby's, and less of everyone else I've known, and they're still just lovable strangers, but I can see a lot longer than summer, being spent with them. What happened at Warped Tour and last night is still to be discussed, but it's still too much for this entry.

And for the record, Shelby can be friends with whomever she pleases, it was never a problem. I was just wary of how much trust we could share, being that some of the friends she's had for some time now, consider me their enemy. I trust Shelby, it wasn't hard at all, and sometimes she trusts me maybe too much, in telling me so many things I wouldn't be able to hear from anyone else, but I'm simply happy with her being my friend and I suppose it's immaturity to judge her before given the chance to know her. And yes, we do have more important things to do, than spend our time together discussing you and your trivial (to mine) life.
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[Saturday
July 19th, 2008]

perksof
NorthBowl last night for Rob's 30th birthday.

NorthBowl, Northern Liberties

Rob & Melissa.

Rob & Melissa

Rob, with a strike.

Rob, the Birthday Guy!

Melissa & Crystal.

Melissa & Crystal

KayMarie.

KayMarie

Khyber for Steffbomb's farewell party.


DSC_0147.jpg, originally uploaded by xniamhx.



DSC_0108.jpg, originally uploaded by xniamhx.

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i guess it's really over. [Friday
July 18th, 2008]

chel__sea
it's been ages since i seen you.

i have no idea what to think.
i have no idea what to do.

FUCK.
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tweet. [Friday
July 18th, 2008]

perksof

  • 10:37 Crazy, smelly wawa customer keeps touching the food and walking away. #

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tweet. [Thursday
July 17th, 2008]

perksof
  • 11:25 Pretty sure the Commerce $100 mix up is because I can't add. #
  • 18:41 The word Penance is everywhere today. Penance, penance, penance. #
  • 18:47 The strip of 3rd Street between Arch and Spring Garden isn't pleasant on the bus. #
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yipeeee [Wednesday
July 16th, 2008]

oh_my___gah
two more months till college. i cant wait!!!!


**i hope i pass the precal and chem placement exams

wish me luck.
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:) [Wednesday
July 16th, 2008]

seaseesea
Photobucket
i get to see my best friend again!!!!!
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[Wednesday
July 16th, 2008]

seaseesea
i keep having dreams about the most random people. i wake up feeling so attatched. it's weird.

i'm loving everything, for the most part.
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[Wednesday
July 16th, 2008]

acertaintragedy


it's tough to stay motivated when you wake up on monday and spend your entire day waiting and anticipating the weekend.

either way, i've been looking forward to going to the hesperia/fremont area all year.

even though i'm only taking 2 days off, the frequency in which i allow myself "vacation" is nominal and this trip is as good as it gets. at least for me...this year.

over the last few weeks i have been doing alright. i technically finished school (finally). i'm sitting on a job offer that i'm actually rejecting (don't like the job details). i'm sitting on an interview in the chicago area. my living situation is comfortable. all in all, i'm doing ok.

i hope you are, too.
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tweet. [Wednesday
July 16th, 2008]

perksof
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[Tuesday
July 15th, 2008]

cash_butterflyy
[ mood | hungry ]

7/8: I'm homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I hate crying and I hate letting anyone see me cry, but it starts to hurt when you're holding it in. And then you start crying after you can't help tearing up, after you have to leave and make yourself as alone as you're discretely able, and at first you break down because after being strong for all the time in between this very moment and the time before right now, something usually smaller was enough to tear through the wall I felt I so carefully constructed, but then crying becomes sobbing, and that minuscule crack grows into everything you should've cried over, months ago. Nothing makes sense anymore and you spend endless minutes over-analyzing everything, and trying to figure out the reasoning behind the reasons you're crying over in the first place, only to discover later, are efforts in vain, because in the end you get back to where you started and force yourself to be content with the unknown, at least until the next time my life falls down on me. And afterwards, the usually small start, being homesick and finding that I really belong nowhere, is still there, and everything else, you neglected tears for in the past, goes back to being meaningless and trivial within your existence as of now. And this would be the act of staying positive, right? I don't feel like I was keeping a big secret to appearing outwardly strong and at times, even heartless, but everybody's got to learn some time, even if it's just that no matter how happy you are or think you are, life is hard and sometimes the worst things happen to the least deserving of it, but life is all we've got either way.

7/10: I don't like waiting this long to type in my Livejournal, therefore, I've been writing in my notebook(s); always more-available than a computer and/or internet. Right now I'm at my grandparent's house in Marlette. That's somewhere in Michigan's thumb I think. It's all farmers and hicks that go to church every Sunday up here. No offense to my grandparents, but I can't say I'm looking forward to church early this Sunday morning. I'm almost positive it's the tenth. Friday. I guess the date's unimportant, it's summer. This is the first time in some years, me, my brothers (Gregory and Timothy), and my cousins; Nathan and Connor, have spent days at a time up here, without our parents. I don't have any cousins, or much family at all on my mom's side, she was an only-child (which may explain why she had five of us, not including the four abortions and my dead sister). I seem to have a problem getting gross and dirty, until I'm in my grandparent's backyard with the boys, and there's plenty of field, forest, marsh, farm, pond, and brush to lose yourself in. Although I'm no longer a child technically, pretending to be a wild and free animal is enough to entertain me for hours. The day ended with Grandma Bettie digging a splinter from my knee, five showers, and an early bedtime. I'm expecting to be up early tomorrow to either venture to the city pool or just step outside the house to catch some sun. I love summer, I'm addicted. I still kind of wish Nathan was able to ditch sleeping in the next room and come out here to chill out, but Grandma's Grandma, and we're still five. Nathan's a year younger than me and Connor's Gregory's age. I've always really loved Nathaniel and never got to know Connor, because even at the youngest I remember, I was always with Nathan. There's honestly stories and stories to fill that out, but you'll never get to hear them. Nathan did end up in the chair across from me, moments later.


Summer's practically half-way over already, isn't it. I neglect to wear makeup or brush or straighten my hair. My tan darkens daily and I've been ever-so-slowly lightening my hair. The friendship bracelets collect around my wrists, and I only remove necklaces to 'lay out'. I feel something, living like this, and I don't welcome September, when I have to shed my summer skin. I fail to remove even the, meaningless now, hemp bracelet, and not-so-long ago, forced it back on. No significance, just carrying around my past, looking for some of it in my future. It lets me feel connected and in control of something, seeing as it's already over and done with. I'm exhausted.

I spent the fourth of July at Patrick's, after sun-bathing with Haley all day. I met countless new people and a majority of Pat's family I had forgotten about. It's cute when I think about it, but he introduced me to everyone with, 'she's with me' or ended things with, 'we're getting married'. Oh, how I missed him. After 10:30 or 11 some time, I can't describe anything to it's fullest, because my boredom led me into emptying a Faygo red pop, and replacing it with strawberry vodka, and becoming more drunk than I had ever been before. It might not have been boredom, I'm never bored. Nobody told me not to. I no longer have somebody to tell me not to, or to care enough, right? I hope that that makes sense. Just think about it. From then on, it was laughing hysterically and falling all over the place, to sobbing uncontrollably on the couch, with Eric Choelos rubbing my back and Pat in my face with, 'it's because he's a child, Brianne. It's because he's a fucking child.' Then John Riggs and Lauren showed up and probably forgot what my name is, because it was 'sweetheart' and 'hunny' the rest of that night. No matter how drunk or stupid I was, I insisted on going clubbing with everyone else, even though they were clearly talking behind my back (in front of me), as to why I was not going clubbing. John and Lauren got me into his car, planning on taking me back to John's, and about five houses down from Pat's, I lept out of the moving vehicle, screaming, 'stop treating me like a baby! You're all liars! Everyone!' And it was back to sobbing, this time on Patrick's bed, and him sitting by me, trying to shut me up, because his parents would 'kill him'. And this is the part I wish I could remember the most, because I started crying over previous relationships (unfortunately pathetic if I were sober), and he was scowling, saying he didn't want to 'hear that name anymore', and I'm sure there was something else he said, I could've handled so much better if I wasn't fucked up.

I sobered-up enough for the club, and it, being my first time, was enthralling. It was just me, Pat, and his two friends; Justine and her guy-friend. Before I knew it, me and Justine were dancing against an over-sized, fake palm tree and I was asked to dance by some suave hot-shot. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't my type either. He was twenty-two. The whole time we were dancing, he was talking about himself, and I was thinking up the dialogue I would've really enjoyed saying. He wound up putting his tongue in my mouth and I was thinking about the way other people kiss, and that to be a 'good kisser', you're supposed to kiss the way you're being kissed. And when 'Jay' was done with that, I could put my head on his shoulder and watch Patrick make-out with Justine. At 2AM, it was time to leave, and Jay wanted to buy me a drink and take me home and kept begging and promising I'd 'be okay', but I just wasn't drunk enough to go home with someone that could die tomorrow without me shedding a tear, and fucking them. Jay wrote his number on the inside of my hand, because the outside was taken, and I smiled and left to catch up with Pat, and I was never planning on calling him. "I saw you kissing Justine." "I saw you kissing that guy." "Was that just to make me jealous?" "I'm not answering that." I was dropped off at John's for the remainder of the night, woke up with John licking his finger and wiping names and numbers off of my hand. "I was so worried about you last night. I didn't want you going home with anybody that'd take advantage of a drunk girl." "I'm not drunk." I think John just chuckled, shaking his head, and I gave him that little kid's grin I pull when I know I'm getting away with being all the fucking trouble in the world.
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